I did look good in the gown. I looked like Scarlett O' Hara getting ready for a big wedding at Tara. I moved around a little to simulate dancing.

"Jump up and down so we can see how it'll look when you do the bunny hop," Grandma said.

"It's pretty but I don't want a gown," I said.

"I can order one in her size at no obligation," Tina said.

"No obligation," Grandma said. "You can't beat that."

"As long as there's no obligation," my mother said.

I needed chocolate. A lot of chocolate. "Oh gee," I said, "look at the time. I need to go."

To complicate matters further, Stephanie's made a reluctant deal with the devil: if she can't bring in DeChooch by herself, her sexy but dangerous cohort Ranger is willing to help--for a price that a girl who's not-exactly-engaged is uncertain whether she should pay. But when Dougie and Mooner disappear, Grandma is kidnapped, and a crazy widow starts taking pot shots, no one who hides her .38 in a cookie jar is going to turn down a little friendly assistance.

In Seven Up, Janet Evanovich serves up her usual bubbly fare: a totaled car, raucous viewings at Stiva's Funeral Parlor, buffoonish bad guys, and down-and-dirty mud wrestling, all stirred up with some snappy Jersey repartee and a few tart, new twists that will keep her fans impatient. Heaven can't wait for number eight. --Barrie Trinkle